Thanksgiving is our holiday. And by that, I mean we host every year (about a decade and counting) and try to surround our loved ones with gratitude, comfort, ease and love. It’s about more than just food and a delicious meal (although that definitely plays a big role in it all).

I can remember our first Thanksgiving in our first home, before we even had children, where we were thoroughly overwhelmed and out of our league. Scott left all the “fillings” in the turkey and I found cat throw-up in the guest bedroom halfway through the day.

The number of visitors and length of their stays in the area or with us varies greatly from year to year. Sometimes, it’s just our parents. Other times, we have cousins, nieces, siblings, even friends or neighbors.

The numbers and locations (we’ve had four different houses over the years!) may change, but the planning and organizing stays pretty similar each year. Here’s four tips for a successful Thanksgiving:

1. Consistency really is key

Once we figured out our groove as Thanksgiving hosts and worked out the kinks, we’ve kept almost everything the same each year. It makes expectations for our repeat guests crystal clear and it helps us stay organized every November. Everything from the time we eat to where we set up our table and what foods we offer stays pretty consistent. Some tweaks here and there (new placemats or napkins every couple of years, adding a new side dish, etc) adds a fun pop of excitement.

2. Ask questions of your guests

Making sure you have all the info you need to make your guests comfortable — especially new ones — will make their experience and your planning so much better. I ask (sometimes directly and sometimes discretely, depending on what it is) everything from favorite colors to favorite part of a Thanksgiving meal to allergies and food dislikes. You can rule out any surprises this way and you can really wow your guests.

3. Get a headstart

My husband and I will send an e-vitation out to potential guests as early as September. Dates fill up quickly and we want everyone to know we’re thinking of them. We start prepping for food with a Thanksgiving grocery list in early November, too. Getting some non-perishable items ahead of time helps keep that last grocery trip from being insanely expensive. We also think about meals, drinks and snacks for the days before and after Thanksgiving, too. I love adding decor touches to the rooms and table, too.

4. Prioritize & Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Getting my baseboards dusted is less important than getting sheets and towels ready for overnight guests. A clean kids’ room isn’t the end of the world. But having a mountain of dirty clothes to worry about in the midst of entertaining is no fun. I work on my to-do list a few days out, first with the stuff that doesn’t have to be done last-minute — organizing, washing special dishes, finalizing the menu. Then, I move on to the items like cleaning out the fridge, grocery shopping and cleaning.

And at the end of the day, it’s all about the fellowship and love. Nobody but me seemed to notice the cat throw up in the guest bathroom that first Thanksgiving. And Scott and I kept the secret of the turkey insides to ourselves for many years. You’re going to notice more problems than your guests. Give them a cozy and organized experience and you’ll all be feeling quite grateful and at peace this year.